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Child marriage in Nepal

by Maryam Mohsin | Girls Not Brides: The Global Partnership to End Child Marriage
Friday, 13 January 2017 13:28 GMT

* Any views expressed in this opinion piece are those of the author and not of Thomson Reuters Foundation.

Strong social safety nets can prevent teen love marriages in Nepal

"It was my choice to marry him", "nobody pressurised me into it", "we met, fell in love, eloped and married". I heard these words countless times during a recent trip to Nepal and a new report by Human Rights Watch verifies much of what I saw: that child marriage is still widely common and love marriages are on the rise.

Poverty, lack of alternative options, and gender inequality all drive child marriage in Nepal. But the story which is all too often missing from development narratives is one which centres on young girls and the vulnerabilities and pressures they face when reaching a major cross road in their life -- especially when both paths look uncertain. An absence of social safety nets and access to information means too many girls in Nepal continue to see child marriage as their only option.

We all know what it's like to be a teenager. Admittedly, I, probably like you, have blocked out many of those experiences; the acts of rebellion against my parents (some discovered, others well hidden), attempts to fit in with the cool girls, the boredom of school when everything was either too easy or seemingly irrelevant, the need for verification -- either from boys or peers -- the sense that nobody would ever understand the painful realities I faced at home and my desperate desire for freedom by growing up as quickly as possible. The number of mistakes I made were impressive but the safety nets around me -- my parents, siblings, friends, institutions, and teachers -- meant they were harmless. At 14, I certainly didn't see it this way, but I definitely do now.

Now imagine this. You're 14, living in rural Nepal. Not only do you find school uninteresting, but it's expensive for your family, as you’re reminded every day. You know you have to get married soon -- leave it too late and your parents will chose someone for you as their parents did for them. Everyone is telling you how much easier life will be if you just get married. Oddly, you don't see many girls after they do get married... No more school, no more school fees, no more nagging parents, no more domestic servitude, no more financial struggles. Finally someone who loves you and will look after you. Life can finally begin. Blissful freedom and womanhood.

I didn't see a single example of this being the reality for any newlywed teenager in Nepal, but many young girls genuinely and understandably believe this will happen. Who is there to tell them what the reality actually looks like?

Instead I heard about girls eloping with older men or young boys, leaving school, entering their husbands’ homes only to find they are now looking after his parents, cleaning their in-laws house, collecting fodder for their animals, working on their farm or at brick kilns in the blistering heat to earn money for his family, and having children so his parents can become grandparents. Family planning is often not even an option. Young girls are usually under pressure to have babies quickly to prove their fertility. One girl I met was actually told that contraception causes infertility by her mother in law. Sex education remains a taboo subject, taught by reluctant teachers across Nepal and girls cannot access to healthcare and contraception without having to deal with disapproval from their families.

Many of these girls had never spoken to anyone about what they had been through out of embarrassment, shame, and self-blame. At the age of 14 no one should feel ashamed because of an ill-informed decision made thanks to peer pressure, poverty, or lack of information and advice. None of these girls had spoken to anyone, including their peers, about the difficulties and tragedies they had faced after they got married. So the cycle continues.
Everyone who plays a role in a young teenager’s life has a responsibility to help that adolescent make better informed choices. It is the state’s responsibility to ensure that girls have access to affordable, quality education, and it is the responsibility of schools, parents, and girls themselves, to make sure they stay in education. But it should not end there. There needs to be livelihood or further education opportunities that provide alternatives to child marriage.

Positive peer-to-peer support is also critical, but often missing. Older child brides should have access to a safe space where they can speak to other young girls in a frank and open way, without the fear of being judged. Only if we give young girls a platform to share what being a child bride is actually like can we then start to encourage girls to think twice about the choices they are making, and the futures they are giving themselves.

Creating a safety net for young girls is not down to one person, one institution, or one organisation alone. Ending child marriage is a collective endeavour and in Nepal we know the role we have to play in making this a reality.

Maryam Mohsin is a communications officer at Girls Not Brides.

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